5* ways to RUIN your pitch

A founder once sent me 5 versions of the same deck.

Each one was “the final one.”

By version 6, I stopped reading and just replied: “good luck.”

Unfortunately, most founders think more versions equal better chances.

Why Most Pitch Decks Die Instantly

Here’s why your pitch probably isn’t working:

• You let lawyers disclaim everything like it’s an SEC filing
• You listen to every advisor, intern, and barista who’s “into startups”
• You do 6 different versions of the deck and Frankenstein them into a hot mess
• You include three financial scenarios, but they make zero sense or contradict each other
• You put the valuation on the deck (and it came from your dreams or a YC tweet from 2016)
• And best of all—you put the month and year on the cover like a milk carton so everyone knows how stale your raise is 🥴

Let’s focus on the 5 biggest sins (and how to avoid them).

🚨 Step 1: Let Lawyers Ruin It All

Here’s what lawyers are great at:

Covering your ass.

Here’s what they’re terrible at:

Helping you raise money.

They’ll add a full-page disclaimer, three footnotes, and scare off every investor who just wanted to see your UVP.

Here’s the thing:

• Investors are not buying your deck. They’re buying your vision and your team’s ability to execute on it
• If it reads like a pre-IPO S-1, you’ve already lost
• If the first slide says "Confidential & Proprietary" in size 72 font, congrats—your reader just bounced

Solution: Keep disclaimers light or in the appendix. Yes, seek legal advice. Just make smart decisions surrounding NDAs & what you share outside one.

💩 Step 2: Listen to Everyone (And Then No One)

Some of you treat feedback like gospel.

You take feedback from:

• Your ex-CTO who's now doing crypto coaching
• That angel investor who said “remind me next quarter”
• A pitch coach from LinkedIn who has never raised a dollar
• 3 investors who said “I really wished you included [5-8 more pages]”

Then you smash all the edits together.

No one agrees.

Your story is a mess.

Nothing flows.

Pro tip: Every time you edit based on feedback, consider the source. Ask:

• Is this person your target investor?
• Do they understand your business model?
• Have they written a check this year?
• Are they asking for info that you shouldn’t be sharing upfront, that would make for a great follow-up / next steps discussion?

If not, smile, nod, and ignore. It’s up to you to be the filter for what actually adds value to your initial pitch, vs. what’s just noise.

💸 Step 3: Put Your Valuation Right on the Deck

Slide 2: “We’re raising $3M at a $20M valuation.” Cool.

Now they know that you are either:

• Way overconfident,
• Undervaluing your business,
• Clueless as to how this works, or
• Not worth the risk

You’re not Shopify.

You’re a pre-Series A startup still arguing with your co-founder about Slack vs Discord.

Calm down.

Instead, respond with:

• "We’re letting the market price the round."
• Here's a fair approach..."
• "Fit> price."

Have valuation questions? Read this.

🧮 Step 4: Include 3 Different Financial Cases (and Edit Per Advisor)

This one’s my favorite.

• Base case.
• Upside case.
• Doomsday case.
• Worst-case vs. expected vs. moonshot

Then you revise each one depending on who’s reviewing it.

Then even you don’t remember which is which.

You end up with financials that contradict your story — or worse, your credibility.

Instead: Choose ONE strong case backed by logic and confidence. Let them work on other cases using the financial model in your virtual dataroom.

The future is binary; either it happens (and your model shows one potential version of it), or it doesn’t.

💀 Step 5: Show Your Deck Like It’s Expiring

Putting the month/year on your cover deck?

That’s like writing:

“Hi, we’ve been failing to raise since February. Enjoy!”

You wouldn’t show up to a date wearing a “Still Single Since Jan” shirt.

So don’t do it on your deck.

Instead: Use version control in your file name. Privately. Not on the deck.

Dates are for public companies, and quarterly board packs. Not pitch decks.

😬 Step 6: Add Every Possible Metric (Even the Useless Ones)

“Oh, we should add CAC, LTV, MAU, ARPU, Burn Multiple, Audience Growth, ARR, EBITDA, NRR, True North KPIs, Overheads, and customer testimonials!”

No. Please.

More numbers ≠ more trust.

Numbers must support your story, not suffocate it.

Instead: Go to your true north KPIs - these are the ones that show whether you’re growing well, or something is seriously wrong.

Showcase 3-4 metrics that show traction, growth, and scalability.

Beyond that, if you’re at Series A, 1-2 stats per page. You’ll know.

🤷‍♂️ And by the way…:

• Tell one clear story. Your pitch isn’t a buffet. Who cares about the 65 different stakeholders whose problems you solve? Pick a lane.
• Use ONE deck. Edit, sure — but don’t Frankenstein.
• Valuation off the deck. Always.
• Build a single credible financial case. Then stand by it.
• Take smart feedback, not all feedback. Be your own judge.
• Keep disclaimers short. You’re not filing with the SEC (yet).
• Remove the date from your deck. Nobody needs to know you’ve been ghosted for 4 months.
• Pick the metrics that matter. Leave the rest for diligence.

Because you don’t need a “perfect” pitch.

You need a clear, confident, credible and simple one.

That’s what gets checks written.

‍